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needles and pins

1/15/2012

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i just spent a few days in the desert with my mom... she takes me every year for a free little vacation to a casino... i don't really gamble... but mom loves it... i spend a lot of my time wandering the casino floor gawking at people... meandering along the river walk... or enjoying the hand made signs in the gift shop... camera in hand i digest laughlin... i sort of describe it to my friends as an older, quieter, friendlier vegas... or branson meets vegas... or vegas light... ha... my highlight every year is karaoke... it is everything karaoke aspires to be... only... it's in a casino... in the middle of the desert... every single person that gets on stage has a personality a mile wide... the owner of the casino and the founder of the town... don laughlin... has been there every year without fail... last time he danced all night long with a 20 something year old woman... they were the hit of the night... (don's probably about 90).... every time we go... i have a mixture of feelings about the place... i love the kitsch and the fact that i am surrounded by elderly people. i LOVE old people. they aren't shy... they don't care what you think about them... they are often times funny and surprising and full of spunk... they have no shame... they flirt mercilessly... because they have nothing to hide.... they have a million stories and even more advice... they wake up and think... well... i have another day... lets make it a good one... I LOVE THAT! 

i know the phrase "youth is wasted on the young" is nothing new... but wouldn't it be awesome if we could all be 80 for a week... in our 20s? i think so! what we would learn about not taking our bodies for granted... oh... wouldn't that be great. i remember one time i was with my friend laura... we stopped at a cracker barrel on  a roadtrip back from sxsw... we walked in and the teen hostess took one look at us and said... "hooo-eeee.... ya'll looked like you just stepped out of a new york magazine".... oh how we laughed... and laughed and laughed... she thought we were glamorous and polished and shmancy... and i suppose compared to her and her co-workers at the cracker barrel in northern texas... we were pretty impressive... that's kinda how i feel for the first day i am in laughlin every time... i look around and i see things that i can't even imagine people wearing... crazy hats... long gone fashions... mish mash hair-dos and walkers of all shapes and sizes... compared to that i am prettttty hot... ha... but it takes about 15 seconds to realize... that means absolutely nothing.... nothing at all... and i am lost again in a sea of human beings... that are all on the same page... we are all just alive... it's easy to forget that sometimes. it's easy to believe that your clothes or your status make you who you are. i guess that's one of the main reasons i love going back each year when mom takes me. it reminds me that i am just as alive and just as dead as any 80 year old at a casino in the middle of the desert. that i have today and maybe tomorrow and if i am lucky a few more tomorrows. 
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i think i have decided what i want to do next year in laughlin... next year, when bill or sally or jim approach me over coffee in the sidewalk cafe... instead of just laughing at their clever jokes... i want to ask them what they think when they see me. i know what i think when i see them. i have a vast appreciation for the years behind their glasses and the fact that they're smiling even though they just had a hip replaced. i wonder if they envy me. i wonder if they smile and think... oh, you have no idea... i wonder if they wish they were still young or if they do what i do when i see a woman in her teens or 20s and think... oh, i would never go back... i think life is easier to navigate the longer you've been on this planet... there is nothing that replaces years of experience... but i am guessing that there are things i still don't understand... and that makes me really happy
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i had a couple of hours on the airplane... so i made this
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