yesterday someone asked me what it is i am looking for... in this case she meant in love relationships... but the question could just have easily been applied to anything... at that moment many things and people and situations flashed through my mind in a little insta slideshow... colors... expressions... music... feelings... gut reactions and both disturbing and happy memories... after a little bit of rambling i gathered up one sentence...
i need people in my life that are passionate about something.
there are bursts of knowing that come over each of us... when we hear a song that moves us or recognize someone we've never met. for me that has happened many times... when i least expect it... watching a kid splashing in the mud... listening to my friend go off on some tangent about computer programming... standing in the back of the room at a concert and watching the singer completely lose themselves in front of a crowd as if no one were watching at all... seeing people lost in themselves makes my heart beat faster-
we are animals- and despite the recent (i use that word to describe thousands and thousands of years) attempts to tame the wild beast that is within us all... it is never fully erased. we still from time to time catch someone acting on instinct- getting a little wild- and reaching inward instead of outward for joy. i believe that these moments are when each of us is our most beautiful.
i need people in my life that are passionate about something.
there are bursts of knowing that come over each of us... when we hear a song that moves us or recognize someone we've never met. for me that has happened many times... when i least expect it... watching a kid splashing in the mud... listening to my friend go off on some tangent about computer programming... standing in the back of the room at a concert and watching the singer completely lose themselves in front of a crowd as if no one were watching at all... seeing people lost in themselves makes my heart beat faster-
we are animals- and despite the recent (i use that word to describe thousands and thousands of years) attempts to tame the wild beast that is within us all... it is never fully erased. we still from time to time catch someone acting on instinct- getting a little wild- and reaching inward instead of outward for joy. i believe that these moments are when each of us is our most beautiful.
i wonder as i write this- what that says about me. one of my big hang ups in adult life is feeling that i allow myself to be too transparent... too instinctual and not structured enough. it's something i am reminded of and think about often. i find myself frustrated with people... always wanting to get to the insides of them... and find out what makes them tick. pleasantries are lost on me... as is small talk. i listen to many formal introductions and conversations and hear the charlie brown grown ups voice-over the entire scene ... wah wah wah wah wah wah wah... and so on. i guess that makes me a person subject to the "ooooh shiny" distraction syndrome- so be it... the thing is i have immense patience for anything i find worth while... and people are on the top of that list. they just have to be straight with me... or i get bored real fast.
i have rambled on long enough for you to be bored... so i will wrap this up. it's after 1 and i should be sleeping. normally post midnight is no big deal but it's been a long month. i have been working on my submissions for the urban arts show...
i have rambled on long enough for you to be bored... so i will wrap this up. it's after 1 and i should be sleeping. normally post midnight is no big deal but it's been a long month. i have been working on my submissions for the urban arts show...
i am hoping to have 8-10 pieces ready for that... the deadline is coming up fast and i leave town again thursday. i could say that i wish i wasn't... but the only thing that makes that true are the obligations i have here. and not much else. every time i go away... i come back altered and this month has been a battery of adjustments. such is life.
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