i found a paint brush today that's been missing for months! guess where it was... in the cup that sits on my desk about 3 feet from my face... all day... every day... i realized something recently... which i guess is a little like that paint brush... about how you can do amazing things if you can just see a situation in the right way. if you could see yourself from the outside... and understand who you are... where you are... what people see when they see you... self awareness is so elusive and so powerful. i do realize finally i think at 33... that at the times when i feel the most puny or confused... the recipe for the magic cure is pretty simple... do things that make me feel strong and clear... start there... and the rest just happens on it's own. i am amazed at how much control we have over our own lives... people sometimes say they don't... but that's a load of crap
this week has felt a little like a roller coaster ride... i did some work today on 3 pieces... and i will post photos in the coming day once i have a few moments to finish what i've started... until then... bob
it's later than you think... sliding doors play tricks on you... and the next thing you know you're old... i looked around the room yesterday at one point and realized that while i wasn't looking... all of my aunts were grandmothers... and my sister was wearing a veil... i think that for a few years... time has been standing still for me... as if i were caught in a time vacuum... allowed the freedom to be mindless... and confused... like anesthesia... when i had surgery on my leg... coming to made me puke... just sayin'
i spent a good hour laying out the starlight painting you see here in a larger format... 3 feet by 4 feet... and as i was filling the sky with an aqua blue... the canvas literally disintegrated... i guess it came into contact with something it shouldn't have since i primed it last fall... anyway... that set me back a while... but I like the way it looks here with the murky gray instead...
i haven't felt weird in a long time... like the kinda weird where you have no idea why you are reacting the way you are... or why you are turning green... why you suddenly have no idea what to say... why you feel really not funny... like if you could watch yourself from the outside in... you would wonder... who is that squirmy person... wriggling around... making everyone uncomfortable... it's me
i need to dance
i was in chicago last weekend... it's one of my favorite cities. i think that a big qualifier for me as far as favorite cities are concerned is water... i would prefer the ocean... but there's nothing quite like sky scrapers butted up against channels and rivers in the downtown of any city... milwaukee, chicago, pittsburgh! 3 of my favorites... all share that... for me i guess it's about the coupling of nature and urban living... but also about home/convenience meeting up with escape/travel... in theory... you could hop on a boat in any water based city and zoom off into the sunset... at the drop of a hat... and then just as easily find your way back home again... that arrangement sounds ideal in so many ways.
insomnia is back... seems like the days are sooooo long when you only sleep for a couple of hours...
this little guy thought it would be fun to hang out with me this morning...
feeling happy and inspired... like there's not enough hours in a day... i like to feel like that...
i am currently completely obsessed with this song... i have loved harry nillson for something like 25 years... but have somehow never heard this song until yesterday... it begs for an adorable music video... hmmmm