saturday i went to a bridal shower for my sister and her fiance's grandmother was there... after the games and the food she made her way to me... took my face in her hands and pulled my face close to hers... her teeth were black in a way that only a 90 year old woman's can be... i recoiled slightly by accident or by instinct... and if i didn't love the age in her face i might have been a little afraid of her at that moment. she said... ah yes... now i can see you... my eyes are bad... you have been just a shadow. now i see you are jessica's sister... ah yes... and i almost wanted to cry for missing my own grandmother so much at that moment.
elsie had a spirit that burned like a million stars... this video reminds me of her... because whenever i see old black and whites of people dancing... i have the bitter sweet realization that those people... once so full of energy are either no longer alive or unable to be so zealous... my grandma... never got old... despite her plea to me... "oh jennifer, never get old"... the only thing that slowed her down... was her own mind. the last time i saw her was on her 80th birthday. she's still there... in a nursing home... a body that houses a person i once knew so well... she is the king of the world... if there ever was one.