i have paintings brewing but they'll have to wait... again... so, here instead is some music

You're the One - Paul Simon

May twelve angels guard you
While you sleep
Maybe that's a waste of Angels I don't know
I'd do anything to keep you safe
From the Danger that surrounds us

Little by little
Bit by bit
Little bit by little bit
Now you got it that's it
What're you thinking
Things'll go sour?
Check its temperature every hour
Nervous when you own it
Nervous when it's gone
What do you think has been going on
For so long?

You are the air
Inside my chest

You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one

But when I hear it from the other side
It's a completely different song
I'm the one who made you cry
And I'm the one who's wrong
In my dream you spoke to me
Any you said

You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
You're the one

Nature gives us shapeless shapes
Clouds and waves and flame
But human expectation
Is that love remains the same
And when it doesn't
We point our fingers
And blame blame blame

You're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
And I'm the one
I broke your heart
I made you cry
And you're the one
You broke my heart
You made me cry
We're the ones

today i want to hoist myself up on a giant ship and set sail... letting the wind pull me anywhere it wants until there is sunshine so much that i forget snow exists as quickly as  my skin turns bronze. i can spend the days diving for treasures and shells and the nights walking barefoot along the shore under starlight... it won't matter if it's a tuesday or september... i won't care how old i am or if i have any money in my pocket. my nirvana. i think that place still exists... forgotten and tucked away somewhere... self stranded on a deserted island. breathing with the ocean.

i've had the moon on my mind. i have always been fascinated by the night sky... i suppose that's like saying "i like to breathe" ... but, i do enjoy both.
the supermoon http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/03/18/supermoon-rises-biggest-moon-18-years-occurs-saturday-night/  happening on saturday has me lunar obsessing ever so slightly more than usual... so, this seemed like a good place to collect my favorite moon musings... 
here's some brainy MOON FACTS but, generally i am interested in the silly, crazy or creepy secrets about any topic... so here are some of my favorites: 

-Do you think the full Moon has some unexplainable effect on our behavior? Early psychologists had no doubt about the Moon's effect on our mental states. The "lunatic," (derived from the Latin "luna" or Moon) was separated from the chronically insane, and extra staff were called into the asylums on the occasion of a full Moon. Special allowances were often made before the full Moon. The English laborer Charles Hyde was acquitted on murder charges on the grounds that he was under the spell of the full moon. The American Institute for Climatology concluded, "crimes with a strong psychotic motivation, such as arson, kleptomania, destructive driving, and homicidal alcoholism, all showed peaks when the Moon was full and that cloudy nights offered no protection against this trend." 

-Werewolves have long been said to come out on a full moon. An Eighteenth Century psychologist describes it like this: "The desire to run comes upon them. They leave their beds, jump out of a window, and plunge into a fountain, after the bath, they come out covered with dense fur, walking on all fours, and commence a raid over fields and meadows, through woods and villages, biting all beasts and human beings that come their way. At the approach of dawn, they return to the spring, plunge into it, lose their furry skins, and again regain their deserted beds."  

-Greek authors Aristotle and Plutarch, and Roman authors Apolllonius Rhodius and Ovid all wrote of a group of people called the Proselenes who lived in the central mountainous area of Greece called Arcadia The Proselenes claimed title to this area because their forebears were there "before there was a moon in the heavens." This claim is substantiated by symbols on the wall of the Courtyard of Kalasasaya, near the city of Tiahuanaco, Bolivia, which record that the moon came into orbit around the Earth between 11,500 and 13, 000 years ago, long before recorded history.

-Ages of Flashes: Aristarchus, Plato, Eratosthenes, Biela, Rabbi Levi, and Posidonius all reported anomalous lights on the moon. NASA, one year before the first lunar landing, reported 570+ lights and flashes were observed on the moon from 1540 to 1967.
 -Moons Over My Hammy-A sandwich made popular by Denny's restaurants... makes you feel like an idiot to order it... but, I've been told they're not half bad ... here's how to make your own  How to Make a Sandwich Like Denny's Moons Over My Hammy | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4721586_like-dennys-moons-over-hammy.html#ixzz1Gz8hALqW and... look, NASA likes it... http://www.theonion.com/articles/lateworking-nasa-scientists-discover-moons-over-my,868/

-The most literal meaning of blue moon is when the moon (not necessarily a full moon) appears to a casual observer to be unusually bluish, which is a rare event. The effect can be caused by smoke or dust particles in the atmosphere, as has happened after forest fires in Sweden and Canada in 1950 and 1951,[10] and after the eruption of Krakatoa in 1883, which caused the moon to appear blue for nearly two years. Other less potent volcanos have also turned the moon blue. People saw blue moons in 1983 after the eruption of the El Chichonvolcano in Mexico, and there are reports of blue moons caused by Mt. St. Helens in 1980 and Mount Pinatubo in 1991
-Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" uses the word "moon" more than any other play ever written. 

-It was once commonly believed that the Man in the Moon enjoyed drinking, especially claret (the most common wine exported from France before the 18th century) . An old ballad goes like this: "Our man in the moon drinks claret - With powder beef turnip and carrots- If he doth so, why should not you- Drink until the sky looks blue." ... so cheers!

my mother's maiden name is patty duffy... happy st. pats day mom

i held the first meeting for my book club last night... and it must've been seeping into my dreams because i awoke in a panic at 4 am after a nightmare that my friend and I were plummeting to earth in a space capsule with shotty latches on the door and only car seat belts to hold us in. nice. 
so, i got up early to sketch before work today. it's a short day, so i will have more time to paint tonight too! although i am very irish... i don't think i'll be doing anything green... maybe i'll stop on the way home and buy some guinness 

i have been fighting a bad cold all week... every time i sit down with my paints... i just sort of go... eh... who cares... and watch a movie and go to sleep. yes, my week has been that kind of fun! last night i played around with some water colors for a while... i realized i need to buy some lights. there are no lights in the room i paint in... i have 2 ikea floor lamps with huge bulbs in them that i point in my general direction. but, i always paint at night... uhm... why haven't i thought of this before? time to invest in lighting. 

i am looking forward to a lot of things right now- the first being the promise of beautiful weather in the coming week! deep breaths... long strides!... no scarf?!  also, my friend Kristina Perkins has an opening on Saturday night....you should really read this blurb about it... http://blogs.citypages.com/dressingroom/2011/03/kristina_perkins_greyhound_bus.php
and, well, she's just an awesome lady! so come to the show!

i'm also finishing up my book "packing for mars" by mary roach. i am really enjoying it. i have been wanting to join a book club for a long time... but was never that interested in most of the titles... so, i started my own. problem solved. i love learning silly facts... like this one... astronauts have a sipping straw in their space suits... kinda like the ones hampsters drink out of...  well, they also have a clip inside their suits that holds the astronaut equivalent of a fruit roll-up bar... for snacking... but, the sippy straws would always drip on the fruit bars... and would smear all over their faces... so they stopped clipping them in their suits. 

playing with watercolors last night- and some of my stuff

always the artist and never the art. 

i noticed a pattern in my work about a year ago... my portraits of other people are usually "happy" looking... always fairly intense and straightforward. you know what you're feeling when you look at them. maybe you can even imagine what's on the person's mind. when i leaf through my self portraits... it becomes quite obvious that i have a really hard time painting myself. i usually get half way through and then get frustrated... smearing lines or abandoning the project entirely. or, if i do finish... the results are usually kind of depressing or angry looking. maybe this is a little bit too public of a forum to discuss this... but... it's my art... and it's me... and this is where i think. art is almost entirely presentation. the final product. the package. and when you think about it... in this, the era of myspace and facebook and blogging and twits etc. we are all essentially human product. we put our best face forward and untag the crappy photos and slowly carve out a piece of the world wide web... to be essentially a flattering (if you're smart) version of our true selves.

i have been wondering lately just what these scary self portraits mean. i wouldn't say i have low self esteem. but i wouldn't say i have an inflated ego either. like everyone there are parts of myself that i don't like all that much. i have things i'd rather hide. but if you talk to me, you can see that i am not that good at keeping my feelings hidden - there is one thing that permeates everything.... i take myself VERY seriously... i have been this way since i was a little girl. i was 5 going on 30. and now i suppose i am 32 going on 80. and i like myself that way.

i was wondering if maybe it's because i can't see myself as perfect that i have to skew my self portraits. i find flaws such as gapped teeth, scars, large noses, huge eyebrows, unruly hair... all charming on other people. in fact i prefer to paint people with striking features. not so on myself. when i see the proportions of my face... my nose seems off, my mouth too pouty... and i don't really like how goofy i look when i smile... so usually i don't smile if i can help it in photos... i told a friend recently that whenever i try to look too put together i don't "believe" myself when i look in the mirror... so i have to mess up my hair a little

someone told me recently that i am much less snobby than they thought i would be. i laughed. someone thought i was snobby? i think sometimes my self-serious nature can make me appear strangely aloof.  i am learning to love the mess that i am.  just like i would in any one else i paint.