lately i have had severe insomnia.... this happens to me from time to time... and has ever since i can remember.... in fact sleeping in general has always been difficult for me.... when i was a kid my mom would try desperately to get me to nap.... i would stare wide eyed at the flip clock by my parents bed for the duration of the "nap" and think that napping was the dumbest thing ever invented. i still have that problem... i have maybe napped.... once in the last 5 years.... and i know it was not by choice.... i probably passed out from exhaustion... i would also lay in bed listening to my parents, or grandparents talk when i was young... while i was supposed to be sleeping... i would always wonder if they really thought i required so much sleep.... and also the feeling that i was going to miss out on something secret and grown up really made me mad.... so the excitement of that was hard to stifle... i have the same problem now.... i still feel like there is too much to think about... or too much to do to sleep at times.... sometimes it's that i just can't fall asleep or... like has been happening lately... i will fall asleep for maybe 2-4 hours and then wake suddenly almost as if in a panic at 2 or 3 am.... and get up and paint... i like that time of night... it's when the world is the most silent... i have a whole bunch of things i wanted to blog about today.... and i actually made a list.... but i am going to save them for another time... instead, this is what i have been working on.... i am going to add some new items to the peanut gallery later today also....
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