I come from a long line of love

i am sure my parents will hate this photograph... but i love it... they are so happy... and they still are...

on Monday my mom and dad will celebrate 35 years together... I have been thinking a lot about this lately... for a lot of reasons... but i have realized something about my family... there is a lot of romance in my blood. every generation that i have known personally has had a romantic beginning. and a healthy dose of reality along the way... here are a few stories...

my grandparents met at a roller rink while my grandpa was in the army. she was working at the radio station in town and traveling the country on legendary train trips with her friend... if i were to venture a guess... i would say that he found her beautiful... talented... and smart... she thought he was handsome and kind and funny... he was destined to return home and work on the family farm... and she fell in love with him and the love he had for his family... they raised 3 amazing men... and he still visits her everyday in the nursing home. they are best friends. he still has all of the love letters he wrote to her back then. and I've read them... they're beautiful.,,, here they are in front of my grandpa's house... the one he grew up in.... and the one they moved into when they were first married... the one that my dad lived in.... and played basketball in... in the immense attic.. the one that my grandpa's dad built... the farm land that now houses the highschool i went to across the street... that was once his father's cornfield...

.... and then there are anna and frank heyen.... my grandmother's parents...

the photo above is on the click clack with silvery threads that sits adjacent to a piano... and likely... at the time this photo was taken... smells of pipe smoke and hides a basket of knitting needles anna was working on...

pictured above are anna and frank heyen. these are my grandmother's parents. they were both very charismatic and musical. frank met anna while working as a farmhand for her parents.... she was a pianist. so... for an engagement present he bought her a piano... and today that piano sits in my parent's basement... sadly i have only spotty memories of my great grandparents... but i have a couple i want to impart.... their house was beautiful... he was also a mason... and built their immense... or what felt like immense to me at age 4... house... of brick... there was a giant wooden staircase... and beautiful furniture... and that piano... where i still remember trying my best to plunk out mary had a little lamb... before i even knew what i was doing. that's the same piano my grandmother elsie learned to play on... she went on to play piano for our church ... and organ... she tought pinao lessons for some 50 years and almost all of my friends from back home know her in that capacity... and it was that same piano i learned to play on well into my teens... in my own basement... she lived next door... so it was a convenient arrangement... she would come before my sister and i would go to school and play for us... when i think of that now it doesn't even seem real... but i know it was... my great granfather frank loved his dogs... and his mandolin and his pipe... i can still smell it... the other memory i have that hurts a lot and sticks with me... is going to the nursing home when frank was suffering from alzheimers... anna would bring him bananas... because it was the only thing he would eat... he scared me then.... because i was just a kid... and i could tell everyone else was feeling sad.. but now i think of it and realize that so much love was in that room.

great grandpa frank and his dog... or one of his dogs...

that's me... at anna and franks... and that's the piano i am talking about...

this is my mom. pat.... spunky and about 19 i think . in the boundary waters on a trip with my dad and his family. doesn't she look happy? she is.... she's in love... with my dad....

here's a good story... my mom and dad were at a party... i don't think they'd even been properly introduced... and my dad turned to his friend and said... i'm going to marry that girl... guess what... he was right.

dating can be rough these days... everything seems more complicated than it did back then. but i remember distinctly something a boy told me not too many years ago... he said that he just didn't want to get hurt.... and that was the end for me i guess... because my retort was simple and real...

that's what love is.

if you love someone... then the best case scenario is that you will stay together forever... and one of you will dwindle more than the other... and you will watch in agony as the person closest to you fades away... but what is the alternative? to just never get close enough to be hurt that much.... i guess i would prefer to enjoy a lifetime of love... and hope, as someone told me just this week... "everyday when i wake up and look in the mirror i pray to god that i will die before she does" ... what else is there